Chapter 19

It's A Journey

Life is a journey, complete with its inevitable ups and downs. It is your experiences along the way, both good and bad, and how you react to them, that make you who you are, and determine who you will become.

Never short-change yourself. All of us, in one way or another, are unique; each of us have extraordinary intelligence, talent, ability, and skills, attributes we can develop and direct toward accomplishing exceptional things, and making a real difference in this world.

Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be healthy, achieve financial independence, and achieve happiness. Luckily, for most people, success is not a matter of your birth or upbringing. It's not our family, friends, or contacts who enable us to do great things. Instead, success comes from striving to become the best that we can be, every day of our lives. It's about constant and never-ending improvements.

Have you ever wondered why some people are more successful than others? Why it is that some enjoy better health, relationships, and greater success in their careers, and achieve financial independence (if not great wealth) -- while so many others do not?

Earlier in this book, I described my formative years. Based on the accepted norms of our society, I was not supposed to be successful. My father did not believe in the value of education, and we were so very poor. No one in my family -- immediate or extended -- went to high school, much less university. There were no entrepreneurs, or business owners, in my family, or among any of my acquaintances, to serve as role models.

Yet here I am, on the cusp of my 50th birthday, and I have earned four degrees, have written four books, and am a multi-millionaire. And I am in the best physical and emotional shape of my life, while continuing to push myself to become a better person.

What is it that differentiates me from any other person? It's obviously not my upbringing; not my education; not money. It is a burning desire to become the best that I can be. To make a difference in society, and try to leave the world a better place than the way I found it. I have a burning desire, as well, to help others to succeed. (There is an old Negro spiritual from slavery times in the United States which goes, "If I can help somebody, as I pass along, then my living shall not be in vain.")

I learned a long time ago that the key to success is to set one great, challenging goal, and then to pay any price, overcome any obstacle, and persist through any difficulty, to achieve it.

By reaching goals, you create a pattern, a template for success in your subconscious mind. Ever after, you will be automatically directed and driven toward repeating that success in other things that you attempt.

My entire life has been about challenging myself to become. a better person, a better father, a better entrepreneur. To overcome adversities, and to move on. I wanted to excel at everything I did, and from the earliest age. Whether it was in primary school, in my favourite sports, at golf, in building Fortune Financial or in creating Infinity Mutual Funds, or my vision of 2003 and beyond -- to build the world's leading health care business.

Although Fortune Financial and Infinity became number one in their respective fields in Canada, and subsequently caused me a tremendous amount of pain and grief, due to poor management decisions, I still learned one crucial lesson, and that is, success can be repeated.

I also learned that the only sure way to learn in life, is by making mistakes. And that the only way to give yourself a chance to make those mistakes, is to venture into the world of the unknown. Give yourself a chance to make mistakes; the more you make, the more you will learn, and the faster you will be on your way to success and greatness.

Here is something I'd like every reader of these words to think about, at this very moment: You have within you, right now, everything you could ever need or want, to be a great success in any area of your life that you consider to be important.

You also have within you everything it takes to be very happy -- to achieve happiness. No one can make you happy, except you. You and I do not have control over the things that are happening around us (the weather, wars and diseases overseas, etc.) But we do have control over how we react to, or manage, the situations around us.

What is your personal mission in life? I feel strongly that we have been put on this earth for a reason -- to do great and good things with our lives, in the time allotted to us. (One more reason for taking care of our health.) We have, within us, enormous, untapped resources of talent and ability, just waiting to be harnessed and ridden towards great, worthwhile acts.

Be honest with yourself: what do you really want in life? If you could be or do or have anything in life, what would it be? Allow yourself to dream, and then go to work -- hard work it can be -- to make those dreams become reality. First, however, you must learn the rules of the game. Everything in life has rules, of course. At a very young age, we quickly learned the rules about crossing the street, about having to be in school five days a week, and so on. Later in life, we learned the rules of driving, of obeying stop signs and traffic lights and speed limits.

However, no one has taught us how to live, how to be happy, and how to deal with life's daily challenges! No one has given us a set of rules, detailing how to manage our relationships, our careers, finances, or our health.

Learn how to play the game, and you might be surprised at the results. No one but you has total control of your life. (Interestingly, and directly related to the Health section and my goals with DHS, even we may have trouble controlling our own lives, if we are too under-nourished to think straight!) If you don't stand up and fight for yourself, no one else will. Most times, you will find that the person you most need to stand up to is yourself.

An ancient Jewish text, some 2,000 years old, puts it best: "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am for myself only, what am I? And if not now, then when?"

Be prepared to pay a price for whatever you aspire to, in life. Nothing in this world comes without a price. If you want to be in better shape physically, then learn the rules, and be prepared to pay the price to achieve that goal. (The price in this case could be anything from the cost of a health club membership, to a treadmill, to making the attempt to eat properly.)

If your relationship is not bringing the happiness that you deserve, make a decision and be prepared to live with the consequences. The same is true when it comes to your career, your finances, and everything else that is important in your life.

The great majority of people, certainly in North America, want their success and happiness on the cheap -- handed to them on a plate, without paying full price for it, in advance, as nature demands. (Think of the millions who would sooner eat junk food every day, and then pop pills to bring down their high cholesterol.) This continual expectation of achievement without cost leads to frustration and failure.

Always remember that there are no free lessons. The good news, however, is that your biggest problems of the day have been sent to you to teach you what you need to know to be happier and more successful in the future.

Sometimes in business, and in life, you have to try, try again, and then try something else. Remember: "Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct." Always be prepared to adapt, adjust, and respond by doing something else. Think of the humourous, yet powerful joke about the man who dropped his keys into the snow next to his car, but kept searching for them by the front porch, "because the light is better over here." If we are not willing to face challenges, or shift directions, then we will never grow.

Nature sends us pain of all kinds -- physical, emotional, and financial -- to tell us to stop doing certain things.

Then, there are the opinions of others. Don't let your dreams be destroyed or crushed by the opinions of other people, including close relatives. (If I had listened to my father, I would never have continued my studies, taught school, left Guyana, or become an entrepreneur. I could well be slaving over the family farm, like some of my siblings continue to do, to this very day.) You alone know what that important goal means to you; other people will always have a different perspective on your life and dreams, and their viewpoint is occasionally tainted with envy, anger, or simply ill will.

One of the most meaningful lines I have ever read, is from a play by the gifted Irish writer, George Bernard Shaw -- a line which Robert Kennedy paraphrased frequently: "You see things, and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were, and I say, 'Why not?'"